....Vinushka....

The cause of all evil.....
Devils, demons, sin, regret, suffering, madness, Temptation, Vinushka.....
Lately I been in and out of it i guess. Lately I've been tagging every single paper, desk, and wall saying Vinushka...
This words haunts me. Maybe that's what I am.
I walk down the streets at icy, cold night hoping a stranger will stop by. Maybe he or she will offer me a ride? Disappointment after disappointment no one stops for me. My mind only thinks of her. Maybe she will see me and take pity on me? After all we've been through... I thought she would at least talk to me whenever she sees me....

Finally, a pickup truck stops.... A mans head pops out the window.
"Where are you heading to little man?"
I see this man had already a passenger in the back seats, but not the passenger front....
The man was about in his early 30s late 20s even. He seemed kind enough.
"Well, my boy, we are heading to a diner just 6 miles down the road. Would you like to come with us? My treat!"
Food! It's been a few days since I have had any kind of civilized food. I've been taking little bites out of the MRE Vegi Crackers for the past few days and now finally this kind man has offered to give me food.

"Sure. I am in depted to you, sir." I said with a peaceful smile.
"Hop up on the passenger side, son" he said with a jolly laugh.

I opened the door and looked at the passenger in the back. A young blonde with red streaks in her hair. She also has piercings in her ears, one on her tongue, and left side of her nose. Her body was like that of a goddess... She couldn't have been more than 17 or 18. Something was evidently wrong though.... She only wore lingerie..... I looked away and climbed onto the passenger seat as fast as I could.....

"Vinushka..." I whispered to myself.
"Nice crosses you have there, son," he stared at my three crosses, "Are you catholic or something?"
"No sir, just a reminder of Faith." I said quickly tucking the crucifixes under my coat.
"Well, lets see how strong you keep your faith with my daughter in the backseat...."
A pair of hands from the back creeps over and start to rub my arms. I started getting tense....

What is this? This isn't right.... Her arms gently started rubbing my chest. And then moved to my neck and cheak. She suddenly started to whisper in my ear, "Hey, hey, Shhhh..... It's okay, just enjoy the ride, I'll do everything.... You'll be in Heaven in no time...."

I can her breath run down my neck. My heart started to beat faster. One of her hands started to move down and rub my chest once more.

"Stop...." I urged, but as suddenly as the words were said my neck clentched tight. I saw the wire in both of her hands.... "Piano wire!" my mind shouted.

"You see, youngman, we haven't eaten any decent meat in several weeks now.... Last fool we had was a punk boy about your age. Hahaha and boy, did he taste like shit...." he said smirking and laughing.

"That's right, Daddy," she said with a sensual voice, "And you know what tastes the best?"

"A wretched Christian boy!" they both said in unison. My vision started turning red. The wire was being pulled tighter..... Soon I can feel the warmness oozing down my body.....

I fought and struggled. I shook my body back and forth, to and fro, my crosses swung out of my coat, and like a knife cutting warm butter, cutting the man 's right eye. He lost total control on the pick up. Quickly I remember that I had a knife at my waist tucked under my coat. I quickly unsheathed it and started to cut away at the wire. The man quickly swirved his truck to the left, I lost control of my blade and it slashed my face. The man crashed into a tree head on, luckly I had a seat belt, but the girl she wasn't so lucky.

Her piercing suspended her up in a mess of branches and she was hanging freely. Her shook violently and ceased to move. I quickly got out of the car, I could smell smoke... and gasoline! I hoped out of the pick up. I was suddenly tackled. The man was on top of me he dug at the wound across my throat. I struggled against him, but everything became so slow... I looked around for anything to help me. I took my knife and started to stab and slash at his face, arms, and chest. Nothing fazed him. I could see him light up a cigarette as he continued to choke the life out of me. Blood started to gush out from my throat, and coughed up blood in his face. My blood seemed to burn his face. And I saw my crosses two feet above my reach.

With all the willpower and strengh I crawled for the crosses. The pain was so unbearable. I collapsed on the ground only an inch away. I mustered myself make the one inch. As my hands touched the cross, the man leaped on my back. His enormous strengh spun me around.
"Die! Fucking! HUMAN!!!" he roared.
I had my crosses, and quickly slashed his face. The slash from the chin to the forhead, and across his eyes, at the same time his cigarette flew into the gasoline igniting it in seconds. The man blinded
by the slashes ran into the ignited truck. I ran 3o yards away from the truck before it exploded, and everything turned black.

Storm Beautifully

Oh Angels of the Coming Storm I beseech thee...
Come and nourish the children of Mother Nature
May you bring us the roars of fury
May you strike down anything that stand in your way
As I walk in the grassy plains
May you rain down your tears so it may cleanse my spirit and heal my shattered soul
May you cover the sun with your hands of darkness
I feel your tears, slithering down my face
Wetting my shirt and my skin
I feel your sighs of misery, they keep me company
As your hands part, I see the life around me, they sing songs of joy
Then once more you shroud the sun in darkness, and I say to you:
Storm Beautifully for me.

There Are No White Chocolate Kisses...

As I stand at the cash register, I stop and think of you. The next customer walks up to counter, and out of 2nd nature I ask, "How can I help you?" As the customer starts naming off several of the item she wanted, I thought about what you liked to do.... Hug.... I thought of the times I held you tightly and the time my girl friends tell me they don't like tight hugs. Only gentle, soft and distant hugs.... My heart sank. I knew my heart was set for you but you did not know. I wanted you to say, "I love you!" once more. Even though you said that to everyone. You only ment it as a friendly manner. I remember watching hug all your boy friends. I understood what your hugs ment by your face, the duration, the tension you had in your body. So I understood how you felt of them whenever you hugged them.

Last time I hugged you. I knew how you felt about me. I felt alone and cold. But why you even wanted my hug that time, I didn't know. Sometimes I wish I never told you, that I had feelings for you. Ultimately I knew your feelings for me changed.

In our embrace, I felt a slight push, uneasiness, like an I-wish-you-weren't-here-so-I-didn't-have-to-hug-you, kind of hug. In that moment I wished knew how to be one of your best friends. As I put more thought into it.... I started to wish that you never got close to me and I never harbored any feelings for you.... Alas it was too late.
My eyes welled up with tears.... I suddenly caught my-self thinking too much.
I quickly my realize my customer finished naming off her list.... All I heard was white chocolate kisses and damn....

That wasn't even on the menu....

So I said, "Ma'am, there are no white chocolate kisses."

To Raise Them Up as They Fall...

A young soul asks you out of no where, these questions:

Why do I have these feelings? These feelings of emptyness? I believe that I have reached God,

but I still feel so distant, why? What is my purpose? What is wrong? Am I doing something

Wrong? Why am I having those terrible thoughts? Why did I wait? Why did she not see me?

Why didn't she see fit to give me chance? Why am I thinking of the past now? Long

and forgotten. I had so many chances to just end it, but why did I think of that? What do I

have to live for?"

Now you challenge is to give the young soul the answer he seeks.... Answer wisely, because your answers could change his life for the better or worse or not at all.... Good Luck ^-^

Mind and Madness II

Hmm...... It's been a while since I posted something. To write something emotional.... And to find my emotional status.... Well here is something emotional (hopefully) and might give you a hint of what's going on in my head.



These lyrics are from the song Emu~For My Dear by Gackt.



The joy from my heart at our sudden meeting says"Maybe it'll be over before I know it..." those forebodings scare me (1)
And then I was gazing into your eyes
Without understanding anything
They're not forever changing, so how many phantoms,
Like memories and dreams, could you file away
And now I gazed into your eyes
Without changing anything
If I stretch out my hand, the smile I reach is fleeting
If I close my eyes, I want to hold
Your vanishing body once more in my arms
Because I can't forget that time, that place where we met...
dancing in the breeze, your body
Was being enveloped in light
I was only watching you
I was forever gazing into your eyes
Even now I watch only you
Without changing anything
If I stretch out my hand, the smile I reach is pained
If I close my eyes, I want to hold
Your vanishing body once more in my dreams
Because I can't forget that time, that place where we met...
Because I can't forget...

___________________________________________________________________

(sorry if you don't understand just mindless rambling)

To tell the truth.... this song pretty much how I am feeling.... I just don't know why I am all of the sudden thinking of past wounds... Maybe it's my most recent wounds.
In a way I am glad I found the truth to the reasoning.... I just with she could have told me the truth herself. I am okay though. This stage will pass. Haha I am just thinking of all of them.... Reading back on my good friend's blog,"Why him and not me?" I can't express how much thinking those words, hurt. Geez My mind is turning into mush.... I can't think straight, my Creative writing is wilting away.... I can't spell. God help me, I am losing my English....

Mind and Madness

With music flowing into his ears and eyes closed, the young man prepares to dwell into the most dangerous place of all, the Mind. Darkness is all that can be seen, but pain and confusion is all that can be felt. Words of pain, regret, loss fill his ears, "No one wants to know the present! No one wants to hear the present!" they scream. Even though the words are in Japanese, he can understand them.

A sigh comes out of his mouth. The trance was lost. He again must refocus his mind....

As Moonlight Sonata plays from his playlist, the boy can see a vision. He see's an old man sitting alone in front of a fireplace. But in the future and alone. The dead eyes were full of regret in pain. The boy then looks at the man's neck, he then knew it was himself.

A new tune comes into play. A light hearted one. Happiness..... Soothing. No doubt this was Dearly Beloved by the Kingdom Hearts.... Alas the solo is short lived.....

A song by a J-Rock band call Dir en Grey. The song was called Kasumi. Though it was beautiful, he did not understand the lyrics. No doubt the song was about love. Maybe that's what the boy felt what was missing. The colors of Love. The song is now over....

Maybe Love was what all he needed, to feel the sweet lips of Love. Then again all he needed was companionship, someone where he can confide all his secrets too. For the sake of his sanity. He is too young for love after all.

Won't someone listen to my story? Won't someone hold me lovingly and warmly? Why these thoughts? Why ask for help? God help me. I ask you to comfort me and love me. Please pour out your blessings of love to me. Send your army of angels to guide me. Protect me from melicious devils. Keep Satans army away from my mind.

These thoughts rattled thoughout his mind. He eyes were heavy, but the thought of Love still hovered through his head.

If there is somebody who wishes for my companionship, please let it be known to me! Why hide it from me? Please is you have those feelings tell me.

The young man's heart ached for companionship and intimacy. Eternal slumber would seem so easy. To sleep and never wake up. To stay in a dream, a neverending dream or nightmare.... Nonetheless it was a never ending adventure..... A Never Ending Story.....

Battle for the Soul, A Requiem for a Dream pt. II

That dream.....

So unreal, but still felt so real.

Once again I lay my head down.

My eyes close, I say to myself, "Let this be the Final,"

Just as the words left my mouth, everything turns black...

Once again, I face the horror of my sins.

"Lets end this.... Pitiful Soul" my sins uttered with the tip of it's sword pointed toward me.

The sky darkened with black by what seems like a wave bats and crows.

Soon enough the wave of darkness comes pouring toward me.

The Holy Army rushes to my side, and they all bow their heads and pray.

"Bow your head, and raise you shield, young mortal, for the arrows of Doubt seek to destory our faith!" Michael commanded me.

As I raise my shield, light domes around me and the angelic army.

The arrows seem to be repulsed by this shield of light.

A sudden rush of glory rushed in my veins and I was compelled me to cry out,"No arrow from Hell's army can peirce my faith!"

I quickly realize I wasn't alone in the battle cry, for the angelic army cried out aswell.

I stare into the darkness as it is repulsed by my shield. Suddenly I see a thin line of fire blast through he darkness.

Legion came rushing at me with his fiery sword.

With furious rage he bashed on my shield.

With such strong force and momentum, left knee collapsed onto the ground.

He planted his foot onto my chest and I was on the ground staring up at my foe.

One more his hand reached for my throat.

He picked me up, choking the life out of me.

As everything started turning black, an bright flash struck his chest, and breath returned to me once again.

The arrow had seemed to be deflected by his massive chest plates.

He grasped the arrow as it layed in the dirt, and repeatedly jabbed his armoured chest with his arrow.

He continued the mockery until the shaft splintered into pieces and the arrow head just a chunk of blessed steel.

Not making a single dent or scratch, he mockingly bellowed out to angelic army and the army of hellspawns,"No arrow, no mace, no axe, no spear, and no blade forged from Angels can even fathom to even scratch the armour forged by Lucifer!!!"

The army of darkness bursted into laughter, taunting the army of light.

I took my stand and pointed my sword toward him.

"My Sword of the Spirit will not only slash through your hellish shell, but I will send you and your legion of sin, back to Hell!" I challenged.

This only intensified the outburst of laughter of the Hellspawn army.

"I beckon you to try, foolish boy!" Legion said with fury.

Instantly he swung his sword, and I too swung mine to connect with his.

Everything suddenly slowed down around me.

Our swords sliced through the air but it was so slow, it seemed as if hardly anything was moving.

From that moment I felt fully at peace.

My sword felt weightless and my body moved with grace.

I closed my eyes and prayed,"My Lord and Maker, you are my sword and shield, allow me to banish this demon and his legion back into the Oblivion!"

As I finished my prayer and opened my eyes, everything was now back into full motion.

Our swords made contact, but my sword seemed to have sliced through not only his armour and body, but his sword aswell.

"Back to Hell, Legion and take your wretches with you!!!" a loud voice thundered out from above.

The Army of Hell and Legion shrieked and shrilled with anger and fustration of bitter damnation.

A rift in the ground opened and thorny came spewing from the hole dragging every Hellspawn down the fissure.

I heard cheering and rejoycing all around me.

Love and Life birthed into the battlefield, consuming the putrid waste the Armies of Hell had left behind.

As angels danced all around me, Azrael came to me and we embraced as if two long lost brother were once again reunited.

"Precious Soul, you now have a choice, stay here and live in paradise, or serve our Lord by returning to you earthly body and spread your story to every mortal on Earth," Azrael inquiered.

"By spreading your story, will be marked in stars and lead humanity into a different destiny," the he revealed to me.

As I thought of my answer, the angel smiled at me and winked.

It shall be done, and I will forever guide you to the rightous path, the path of Higher Spirit of Good.

I smiled and closed my eyes.

I was suddenly awaken by the bells of the church.

I now live my life, knowing the path I live was made by the Heavens....

The Trinity

Once there was a young man, that has asked about his three necklaces. People might ask,"Why do you have three crosses?" or "Why do you always wear that?"



He then will on occasion ask if it offends them. But often he will answer the question to test them, his answers are usually : "It's my trouble proof vest," or "It's something to keep me in my place," or "It's unique, and it's not really hurting anybody, right?"



Depending on how the person(s) answer or reacts he can see what the person is feeling. Are they trustworthy? Are they offended? Do they really have God and Christ in their lives?



In truth the answers is: They remind him and everyone who sees them that the Lord, The Son, and Holy Spirit are always with them. So they must always strive to better themselves. It is also supposed to remind him that he must bear the weight of his sins until he repents.



He doesn't believe he will receive extra blessings, extra protection, or he is sin free.



No, he is a sinner, a normal human, even though he wishes he was an angel.



He is not "Holier then Thou" he makes the same mistake as everyone else.



Unfortunately these crosses do come with a cost.

His social life has never been the same since the day he started wearing them.

Many friends have shunned him and much family has been distant.

'Maybe it's is ment to be' he thought to himself, 'I will not bend to the will of Satan!"

So he lives life, praying, keeping a tight grasp to his faith, and will continue to bear the weight of the crosses and his sins, until the end of Time.

Journey in Wisdom

Written on Monday, March 10, 2008.

I sat in the commons of my high school.
It was the second period of lunch, so I decided I must evaluate
As my shut my eyes, I dive deeper into darkness.
A gentle breeze picked me up from the descent, and carries me back to my sanctuary.
Back to the forest.
I dwelled deep in thought with only these words:
"There is no pit so, that God is not deepest, still."
I am woken from my peace by the choas of the room.
I say to my self, " I must stop speaking what not needs to be said."
I continue my meditation.
Yet again I am disturbed.
I wonder,
"You have the audacity to disturb me?"
Lunch period is over in an instant.
I walk with my good friends to my 5th hour class.
As I sit in my desk, my mind chants to me,
"Evaluation. Evaluation. Evaluation. Resolution."
The rest of the day, I can only think of discipline.
"I must condition my body and mind, if I am to enchance the soul.
If I am to change the world, then I first must change."
Then my corrupted mind attempts to trick me,
"Look at the world around you! There is no need to do all that. There is no need to be a warrior for God. Common wake up! Stop this foolish dreaming!"
I say to my mind,
"The only fool here, is you. You follow the world, you are afraid of all those around you might think. You lust for attention and what does it get you? Only despair. Look pass the surface and look for what really matters."
My mind becomes silent.
Now I dwell in my sanctuary.
Heavy with thought.
High in hopes.
Only grounded by this mortal mind and body.

A Requiem for a Dream, A Mortal Warrior for Heaven Birthed

As I fall in my sleep, my last thought, dream.
I now see myself in a total oblivion, total darkness.
It's a nightmare, I scream wanting to escape this prison.
But now I see a small glitter of white.
I race for it, moving my feet, I feel it sinking into the thick darkness.
I fall face flat into the sludge.
I can only see and feel the right side of my upper torso; no legs, no left arm.
Pulling my body with my right arm, I reach for the light.
'Don't leave me behind!' I thought to myself.
My body fully submerged in the darkness.
I can see my right hand, reaching for this light, only inches away.
Now I accept my fate, I will be a part of this God forsaken oblivion.
Suddenly I feel this warmth on my hand. Warm as love.
Now a overwelming bright light is in front of my, I can see!
I look all around me, I was enveloped in the sins of my past. The horror....
They all unify into this one giant beast, it comes reaching for me.

The bright light suddenly envelops me and the beast.
I was sure I have been obliterated by the bright light.
But now I am in large lush green mountain.
I now knelt with my hand reaching up and my face looking down.
I see a man's feet, I can see one hole in each one of his foots.
My hand is grabbed by gentle hands, but strong force. I look up to see the man's hands, more holes, one in each of his hands.
His face enveloped by a bright white light.
Above his head a halo.
I look to my left and right I see three men and four women flapping their wings in perfect unison to stay a float.
Each of them carrying a bowl.
I suddenly feel familiar presence beind me.
"My Lord, what is it you want us to do?" a strong presence spoken in a light, but obscured voice.
"Sweet Demise, the time has come to end your oath with this young mortal you swore to protect from the day he was born" a benevolent, but thunderous voice proclaimed, "You must explain what is to come, and Michael will arm this young son of Adam and Eve."
"It will be done, my Master." the entity behind me said. I feel a familiar pair of hands grabbing my shoulders.
I gently arose from my position and and slowly turned look to see who or what groped my shoulders.
It was a winged man, he wore a hooded robe with a large sythe strapped to his back.
Angels!
I could feel the angel guiding me away from the man.
"Azrael, you shall not intervene with the battle, this is what the young mortal must do alone." the man commanded.
"Yes, my lord" Azrael gently answered.
The archangel continues to guide me away from the man and down the mountain.
We now step to down into a valley.

"Welcome to the Valley of Megiddo," Azrael introduces to me, "come we must find Michael and meet with the rest of the Heavenly Army."
"Young one, I am Azrael, I have watched over you since day you were in your mother's womb until now."
"Do you not remember the time I held you up as you took your first steps?"
"Do you not rememeber the time I held your up head when you found your first love?"
"Do you not remember the time I held your heart the first time you were rejected? The Last?"
"Do you not remember the time I stayed you hand when you had that blade pointed to your throat?"
"Do you not remember I was there to give you warmth and light in the dark, cold world you live in?"
"Do you not remember me?" the angel asked me, "Do you not remember I as your Guardian?"

I feel a sudden warmth in my heart, my eyes well with tears, then my mind suddenly filled with forgotten memories, and I am embrace my guardian angel.
"Azrael! I remember! I remember! You where there! Always by my side!" I cried.
My guardian wiped the tears from my eyes with his robe.
"No more tears, young one, no more tears," he comforts me, "be strong, be ready, cause you must face your sins and cast them all to the bowels of Hell."

We walk behind a large wall of an ancient city, that now seems to lie in ruins.
Another angel brandishing a sword, and a lance strapped to his back.
He turns to face Azrael and me.
"Michael, the mortal has arrived," my angel spoke in a gentle voice, "the Lord, commands that he fight his sin and we are not to intervene."
"Very well, I will arm him, with the armour and weapon he has forged in his life," Michael responded.
His hands glew with a red light aura and suddenly then my body glew in a white light.
White strings of fabric spun all around me, and enclothed me with a white hooded robe.
Then black strings of the divine fabric spun around my neck and a scarf was made.
The fabric so light and gentle it seemed as if it was made from spider webs.
Michael now touched my forhead and then materialized a bow in front of my eyes.
I grabbed it with my left hand.
"Now, young one, this last weapon will be the hardest for you to receive," so Michael tells me.
He now places his hand at my chests and his hand seems to sink inside my chest.
Sharp pains spiral through out my heart, I feel as if I will collapse, but Azrael embraces me tightly.
Michael slowly draws out a sword slowly, every second of the extraction was excruciating.
"Take the sword," the militant archangel commanded.
I completely drew the sword from my chest with my right hand, and gazed in awe of the blade.
'The Sword of the Spirtit' I heard my thought whisper to me.

The two angels once again lead me to Valley of Megiddo.
Now I saw the Armies of Hell and the Heavenly Army.
Light, Love, and Glory of Heaven flourished throughout the valley on the side of the Heavenly Army.
Sin and Darkness of Hell tainted the beautiful valley, with blood, carnage, ruin, and darkness, on the side of the Army of Hell.

I was lead to the frontline Heavenly Army, and every eye stared at me, Holy or Tainted.
Then the a large creature emerged to the frontline of the Army of Hell, and every eye stared at it, Holy or Tainted.

The monster and I walked to the middle of the field, both of us watched by the two armies.
In the creature, I see every sin I have commited. I knew what must be done.
I looked into the eye of the abomination and he too knew what must be done.
Our eyes locked with one another.

Suddenly... I awoke.

Brainwashed

My heads been blank lately. I just can't think of something to write about except this. Maybe it's the music I been listening to? Maybe it's because I am stuck inside most of the time. Maybe it's becaus I haven't gone to church in a long time. So many factors... So much desire to write, but nothing comes to mind. Anyone want to inspire me? Anyone have a starter? Anyone have something they would like me to write about?

Suicide is the Proof of Life

This was inspired by one of my favorite rock bands Dir en Grey and their song The Final. You can call this another attempted to let go the hardships of recent and past events.

Scream! Cry! Ready to Die?!
Suicide.... The proof of life.
Suicide.... The proof of life.
Suicide.... The proof of life.
Every moment I live is toture...
I suffer, seeing you ignorant of my feelings.
My feelings for you.
Give you signs, but they go unheard....
My heart!
Screaming for your love....
But it's voice falls upon deaf ears....
Screams of fustration fill my heart and soul.
I stayed in my sanctuary, sleeping; dreaming of you.
I prayed for your love, but maybe it wasn't ment to be...
My heart!
Screams for your love....
But it's voice falls upon deaf ears....
Scream! Cry! Ready to Die?!
So why try...?
So why try...?
To live a loveless life?
Life or Death, it's my body and soul....
Suicide, the proof of life.
Suicide, the proof of life.
Let's bloom the Flowers of Attempted Suicide....

Let's Bloom the Flowers of Attempted Suicide... (read Suicide is the Proof of Life, 1st)

Let us continue where I left off in the last blog...

Now... My love.
If you do not love me now...
Maybe you will wish you have once I am gone....
Writhe in Regret!
I now stare at the at the crucifixes around my neck.....
I see tears of blood running down my Lord's eyes.....

With gun in hang my hand, maybe I will end the pain.
The pain you left in me!!!
Fuck you!!! You never thought of me!
Ahhhh! Raaaaawrrrr!!!!!
My last thoughts of you filled with anger sorrow....
Maybe I will never be remembered?
Fuck it....
The Father,the Son, and the Holy Spirit
I pulled the trigger.
*click*
Nothing happened.....

Lord.... Have you given me a reason to live?

The 1st English Assignment from Mrs. Vaughn

The Autobiography
Hello there! My name is Chih-Chuan Chang. I was born in Taiwan, but I came to America when I was about six years old. In America, I lived in a Chinese restaurant named, “Hunan Inn,” until it was closed for business. I now currently reside at the Chateau LaFitte apartment complex. My parents are in some way divorced. My father wanted to go back to Taiwan, while my mother decided to stay here, in America, with me and my sister, Tiffany Chang. Now you must forgive me, because my writing can be at times, very deep and sometimes morbid. Now that you know a little it about my background, let us learn about my personality.
My most prized possession is my spirit. I received this gift at January 14, 1992. The first reason I was given this gift is because no soul can live a good life without anyone to accompany and guide it. The second reason I was given this gift is because the giver of this gift, The Almighty, has a purpose for me to fulfill in this world. This is my most precious gift because it contains my talents, skill, and all my love for God.
The thing that identifies me the most are angels. Reason being, angels are known as a guardian, a friend, and guide to everyone and everything in the world. I was also once called an angel in disguise, so ever since then I had an obsession with angels; even my Myspace and Facebook have angels as display images. I’ve always been helping my friends in need and tried my best to guide and accompany them through their troubles like an angel.
Some words I live by are the lyrics to Strangers by Yoko Kanno and The Final by Dir en Grey. The lyrics to Strangers are important to me because it almost perfectly matches the long rode my soul and spirit have traversed so far trying to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. The lyrics to The Final are important to me because it reminds me the times I have contemplated suicide and there is always something to live for. It also helps numb or intensify any source of pain, I might be feeling. So the song has saved my life, or nearly ended it. Well now that you know a bit about me, I hope I can learn more about you. I’ll have you know though; that this is paper is only “The tip of the iceberg.”

Never Forget

The Gentle Heart.
The Loving Feeling.
The Little Puppy.
The Shadow.
The Ghost.
The Soldier
The Angel
The Sweetie
The Little Asian Dude.
The Freshman
The Chih :)

Love Me

Love me.

Because I love you.

La La Love Me.

Your words, so sweet.

I can't stop this one thought rushing through my mind.

I Love You

I Love You

I Love You!

Won't you take me now?

Take me into your world?

Or shall I take you to mine?

Where, I can be your king and you my queen.

Or You my princess and I your humble knight.

There is so much to see.

So little time....

But there is nothing to fear, because I will die for you.

Why?

Must I say it once more?

I love you.

Now you must only do one thing.....

Offer me your Trust and Love.

Dreams About The Past Life?

January 4th 2008 was a very wierd day. I felt I've been stuck in the mud and I can't get out. Well anyway about the dream, I have told Analynn, but I had to shorten it.
Well here the story...
I was about my age now and I was best friends with this girl. Then suddenly we became lovers. It seemed we had such a great time. The reason i said "seemed" is because, now this is one of the things that bothered me, I could never see her face, I could never see us hug, kiss, and I think at one point we made love. Anything we did always blurred and swirl until I couldn't see what happened and it changed to like the next "scene" of our life. I guess I was not supposed to see her face at all. Anyway to continue the story...
I was grown up and I had to go to war, before the swirling effect fully distorted my sight, I saw us kissing good bye. Then was in a middle of a battle. It seemed all the people on my side had paintball guns. I had one too. But all enemy soldiers had real guns. Well we all decided to charge them and one by one I saw my comrades get gun down, and blood splattered everywhere. Then finally I was shot down. Everything I saw, was red. Then I couldn't stop thinking about my lover. Well fortunatly for me I saw a shadow of what looked like a helicopter. And I saw the shadow, gun down all the enemy forces. So Yay I thought, then I started thinking about the lover again. When I almost saw her face the swirly effect happened again. The next scene I was at my house. Calling for my lover I was home, but there was no answer. I looked at the mail and it was soooo full. there was a bill I opened it, before I looked at the mail I cried for my lover again, still no answer... So I looked at the bill, it was a funeral bill for someone I couldn't read the name, but I think it was for me. I called my lover's mother and she started crying when she heard my voice. She told me the bill was for my lover. She never said her's or my lover's name she jus aid "My Baby." I heard her bawl out," They found... My Baby... dead with a knife on her heart and in her left hang a picture of you....."
I felt tears sting my eyes. The mother said she commited suicide. I started yelling over the phone it wasn't possible. The mother dropped the phone and I guess she ran away. Well the father told me my lover's grave site. The swirly effect took place again before I could hear the name of my lover. Last thing I heard the father say was "I can't believe..." So I went to her grave and gave her white roses, white lotuses, and one red roses. When I layed them down on the grave all the flowers turned black and very very thorny, but the red rose remained untouched. I quickly grabbed onto the red rose, while all the flowers were wrapping black vines around my hand. The swirly effect came on again and next thing I knew I was at my dinner table, but there was no food. I looked around the table and I felt very lonely, no one else was at the table. I saw a rolled up newspaper and unrolled it and what I saw was my lover.... She made front cover of the news. I couldn't read anything I just knew was going mad I started ripping apart the newspaper. When I riped the front cover with the picture of my lover, a knife fell out.
The knife was very bloody. I picked up the knife and before I could plunge it to my heart... I woke up. This morning I was very very sad. Next thing I knew the alarm clock rang. So when I went to school today I tried to mask everything. I think I hid my feelings well. I sorta wished I didn't.
Thank you everyone for being born and being my friend, you made my day a little brighter.

My Unrequited Love

My feelings for you are strong.
Yet you do not know that I harbor them.
Your smiles are like the Sun's rays; warm and lifting.
Your eyes are like diamonds ever sparkling.
Evey time I see you, a sharp pain rips through my heart.
For I know you are far beyond my reach.
You have fallen for another.
But I know this is what must be.
It has felt like many lifetimes since I have set my eyes on you and where you have reclined.
Many times I have dreamt about you.
We embraced.
But I awake with tears running down my cheek.
To find it was only a dream.
I have tried letting you go not once, but twice.
But everytime I see your miniature portraits.
I have always have this one thought rushing through my mind.
"What If?"
I wish once more to touch your hands.
I wish for a chance to touch your lips.
I wish for a chance that your lips reach my cheek.
I pray for the chance for our lips to touch.
God Bless You, My Love.
My Unrequited Love.
But I will never say who... :D

How Far We’ve Come

Reflect back in life. Back to your very first day at school. If you can remember that far anyway. Then continue forward until you reach today.
Can you remember all the people you have met?
Remember all your friends?
In my younger childhood days I can remember making many friends. But as we all grew up we all changed. So many of my friends now are sweet memories. I often wish I could see them again. We have come so far. We truely are blessed to have met so many people. I am overwhelmed by the number of friends I have made this year, but no words can decribe how I feel about how many friends I made in my entire life time. We still have many years a head of us. No matter how old you are. Death is just another part of life. So there is no need to fear death. Come let us face our Destiny that we have chosen in this life time.

Battle of the Polar Opposite Deaths

I feel Azrael's benevolence and love all around me.
I feel Azazel's lust for mortal blood.
I feel this battle raging inside.
Azrael fights for my salvation.
Azazel fights for my damnation.
I feel peace through kinship and friendship.
I feel pleasure through blood letting.
I have the desire to touch someone's heart through my love and kiss them through my lips.
I have the craving to rip out someones heart and have the taste of blood in my mouth.
I must control myself.
I must show all of myself.
I ask myself, "Who will win?"
I answer, "The one you embrace."

Do You Remember Me?

Today, after school was dismissed, I sat outside on that stone bench.
The sun was in my eye, so I closed my eyes.
I was feeling the wind blow my hair and white T-shirt to-and-fro.
The sun's rays continued to beam down on my closed eyes and my vision turned bloody red, that's when I saw you.
I saw just the two of us waltzing under a crimson moon.
I stared into your eyes, and the whole world melted away.
We continued our dance, only to be illuminated by the crimson rays.
I was suddenly awoken from my state of mind by my friends.
As they continued to talk to me, I was thinking only one thing.....
Do you remember me?

The Three Symbolic Beasts of Life

In life you will find people who are either a sheep, a wolf, and a dog. Of course their are other branches to the tree, but I will talk about them later.
The sheep are people who wake up and go to work at 9 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon. They are the type of people who are innocent and can hardly fend for themselves. They can't get their head around committing acts of violence, drugs, rape, or anything that is evil in the world. But there a are handful of blacksheeps in the flock, they go against the stereotype, they are enlightened, they know the way of the deer. But these black sheep are very difficult to find, but on the other hand they out number the dogs on a 5-to-1 ratio. Unfortunately the white sheep still blanket the field. They would need abundant guidance to be able to stand up for their individuality. Most do not know they are called upon by the the Almighty and Destinies to serve the better good. They do not know the abilities they have within their soul and spirit. Unfortunately it only takes the slightest temptation to lead them into corruption, then eventually it will lead the way to the wolves.
The wolves are of course the predators. Their lives are almost all about preying on the weaker and defenseless ones. The sheep is their favorite prey. The wolves have no disipline, and rarely any smarts. It is only the Alpha or pack leader who has the knowledge, tatics, and most ferocity or subtleness of the pack. They too are called upon the Almighty. Also by the Fates. Their lives unfortunately are too dark, and their ears are deaf to hear their true destinies. They are too blind or arrogant to see the inner light that still glimmers in their dark world. It is not impossible to change their ways but, most improbable. But if they do change they will face hardships of change, but then they will rise higher than the sheep quickly and become the dogs.
The dogs are disciplined, honorable, loyal, loving, strong, sometimes wise, and partly domesticated. They wish to serve their masters and keep the peace. But they still have their instincts inherited from the wolves. Their instincts make their aspects just the same as wolves. The only thing they do not have is the urge to prey on the weak. Their entire life is devoted to protect those like the sheep so the sheep may continue their blissful and innocent lives. Unfortunately it is the most improbable if not impossible, to regain the innocence of the sheep again, but they only need to the small taste of corruption to start on the dark path in becoming wolves. It is hard to find the purebred dog, which are the individualists. Most have mated with other beasts so it is hard to find the pure breds these days. But even with change or purity their lives are very lonely. They can search entire lives just to search for love, but never find it. Then again, they are the ones that answer the call of their master, the Almighty and eventually their destiny. Most of them accept their fate. They are the ones that have the most affect in the world.

This Reality, huh?

So this is your reality?
What a disappointment.
Come with me to find the life that was intended for you to live.
But first we must cross the circular plain of the world of the damned, so we may to reveal the sins you are capable of, and the punishment you will receive if you are idle.
Then we will climb the to the summit of Purgatory, so we may purge our selves clean of Hell’s air and repent for our sins. Then we will be enlightened by heavenly hosts.
Then we shall enter through the gates of Heaven. Learn of true peace and happiness. Praise our Lord God and his son. Then you shall see the life that your Maker has intended for you.
Then we shall return to your reality, for you must make a choice....
Live the life of joy and happiness as your Maker intended, or you can take the life, where you make the calls and you are your own god.

Who is the Shang Tirips Doog?

I hope you know what the name means by now. If you don't look for my blog about Shang Tirips Doog's name.
It's very hard to explain who he is. So to make things short lets say: As a human, he was a person who dedicated himself to Heaven, angels, Jesus, and God. He eventually gave up his life at the takeover when earth was taken over by demon machines. He eventaully was welcomed into heaven and given a choice to either serve God as an angel, or live happily in heaven as a saved spirit. As you might know he chose to become an angel. So he was reborn as a child of Mother Nature and Father Time, and made younger so he was to become a student in the academy for younger angels. After some grueling testing and trip to Hell, he became a Seraphim. The Seraphims are the angels closest to God, so they rarely come in contact with other angels and beings. But since he had a spirit of a human, he had freedom and freewill. Only a handful of angels in Heaven have freedom and freewill. So then after a few events and years in Heaven. Shang was widely known in Heaven, but he was soon tricked and sent back down to help the human race that now lived in a new world that lived about few thousand years into the future. This where his new journey begins.....

Pendulums of Life, The Pruning of Life, whatever you want to call it.

As a priest from my last private school said, our Life works like clock work, or if you're a gardener then your life works like a fruit tree. Sounds complicated and tasty eh?
Well lets first look at it in the eyes of a clock. Our lives swings like a pendulum back and fourth, to and fro. Well when we swing it one way it is when ever we have to upmost energy, great grades, happiness, and everything seems to go your way. Then when it starts to swing the other way it goes vice versa. Sorry I didn't pay much attention to the Pendulum explination.
Now in the eyes of a gardener. God is a gardener, when you produce the most fruit and large branches and leaves, is when everything seems to go your way. But when harvest season comes, it is when God picks your fruits, and prunes you up. Unfortunatly, it is when you have to work hard to grow again and produce more fruit to return to your former beauty. So the whole world seems to be against you. Everybody never wants to talk to you. You're making bad grades. Then God adds some fertilizer to you. This means you get blessings or a boost in life.
I am not sure if you notived a pattern in life and/or history. With every tragedy that has happened there is always something positive that has come out of it. With every positive event, there is a negative feedback. See now? Life works in a balance beam. Although we rarely ever look at it in that way. We always love to see things in a negative sense, it must be human nature. But it also possible to break from that nature too, for example people with a sunny disposition.
I believe I am in my pruning stage of life. Because I feel extremely neglected at school. My friend(s) would agree and feel same way. Whatever the situation there is always a silver lining. A glimmer of light in the darkness.
Damn this was suppose to be a rant, but I guess I love to balance things out. I love balance.

See You Later, Never Goodbye

Once there was a young man.
He changed the world, not through peace.
He fought battles, many battles. What he fought for is forgotten.

At the end of his journey, he layed in front of a repentance tree.
His friends wept for him; his family appeared before him.
"Goodbye" his friends had said. And with that came tears of sadness.
"Welcome home" his family had said. And with that came tears of joy. And they walked away into a bright light.
The boy looked at his friends, and they all placed their hand in his.
He then said his final words and good byes to his friends.
When the next wind blew, the young man closed his eyes and breathed his last breath.
Now legend says while the friends walked away and took one final look back, the body was taken by the roots of the repentance tree and wedged into the roots of the tree. When the friends tried to grab his body. His whole body became incased inside a giant crystal, that cause the tree to become partly uprooted. But alas, none of his friends where able to set the young man's lifeless body out of the tree.
But this merely legend. The young man's legacy was forgotten and so was the site of the tree. The group of friends moved on with there lives, and forgotten most of the past. The war and the reason for it too was forgotten by many people.

The only thing that was remembered was the young man's last words....
-- "See You Later, Never Goodbye"

Your Beliefs are Your Own...

Indeed the title is true. Your are right on your own terms. They are wrong on your terms and vice versa. No one is right. No one is wrong. We don't even know which religion is the right one. All we have is faith and hope. No matter what happened, no matter what everyone says, no matter what your faith says, your are your own person. God could easily change all that, but yet he chooses to let you choose your decision. You are your own person no one can change that and God doesn't want too. So the way you think, the way you chose to talk, eat, sleep, dress, pray, dance, whatever.... is your own way of living. You aren't right; you aren't wrong. Your decisions just reflect the way you will live. They are the paths of life which we all must take, they can lead you too happiness and/or sadness. Lately, there has been conflict among my friends among ways of living life. Again it is their choice to do things they do. Don't you worry about what everyone says. If your decision was in favor of good, then maybe later in life, those who made the choice in favor of bad might just wish they were in your side. Now Good and Bad are just words, who knows where language came from; how it was developed. Good sounds pleasent to the ears, bad sound unpleasent. If you teach your child the other way around, Bad might sound pleasent to the child and Good might sound unpleasent. Okay well my time is up. Now if you chose to take this blog into heart it is your choice, and it's a choice I hope you will not regret. Now live your life.

Where? Pt. I

Where is the world I once knew?
It was a world where everyone flew.
It was bright and beautiful.
Never too hot; never too cool, weather was never unusual.
It was filled with love and innocence.
Everything used make sense.
Nothing used to be in such a shamble.
Now everything I do feel like I am trying to gamble.

My Prayer, In Honor of My Friends

For all you who read this, you are my family.

O Lord God watch over me.
Forgive me for Sins I have commited in the past, at the present, and will in the future.
Forgive me, not spreading your word among my peers. This might be the most frequent sin I commit. I am weak and perhaps afraid of what they might think. Instead I believe that you have people believe in their faith for a special reason. I believe that everything happens because it is all part of your plans. No matter how horrid the crimes, it is all for a purpose.
Let everyday be filled of honor, never filled with shame.
Guide me to victory, honor, and love.
Lead me to the future you have planned for me.
Let your will be done, for I am only a lowly servant.
Let me hear your voice, but let me not be deceived by Satan and his fallen angels.
Lord God, give me peace of mind.
My heart grows heavy of sorrow.
Pain strikes my heart every morning.
It strikes me when I see my friends.
I feel loving and blessed toward all my friends. They are truely family.
Lord God, how must I obtain a happiness?
Happiness is a like narcotic to me, when I am blessed by you and given the chance to see my friends I am happy. When my friends are gone, all happiness fades. I crave for more. I crave for more time with my friends.
Almighty One, how may I obtain lasting happiness?
I know happiness on earth never lasts forever. I know time is short in our living clay shell and before we even know it we are with you again in Heaven. But, Lord I wish to remain happy in the time I have left.
Must I find my significant other? Lord maybe you already have our destinies intertwined, but my heart grows an ounce heavier everytime I lay my eyes on two lovers. How they embrace each other... The aura around them makes me want to cry crimson tears.
My God, teach me to tolerate the ignorance of others especially one the kids in my 5th hour class. Teach me to teach him the error of his ways.
Please Lord God, give me sight to the error of my ways.
Give me divine vision to see the angels and devils.
Give me more humility so I may not judge others.
Give me wisdom so I can teach others the successful way to life and also to outwit those who wish to disprove you of your own existence.
Give me strengh and courage to do your will.
Give me endurance to stand against temptation, pain and sin.
Give me power to stand against evil.
At last, if you will, a significant other, so I may learn love.
Lord God I invite you, your son, and all your heavenly army of angels to enter in my heart and reside forever and ever.

The Forest of Repentance, the Tree of Nature and Time

My therapist told me to find the special place where I found peace. A place where I can go too, so I can escape from the world when I am most stressed. She told me it can be any place. SO I started telling her what I am about to tell you. Then she told me to stop and think of some place real. Not fantasy. So I had to rethink about a place. I chose an empty church, no one inside to bother me. Only me and God.
Well here is the place I was about to tell her.
See yourself in a white forest. Everything out of the forest is shrouded in darkness even the sky. All is visible is you and the forest.
This forest is thick with trees that bear no leaves, but the bark of the bare trees are colored with the purest shade of white known to man.
But the floor is so thick it's feels like you are walking on deep snow. You can't make out what is on the ground so you move into the heart of the forest. From what you can see there is light at the heart.
As you move closer to the heart, you finally see the light you saw earlier is a actually a ray of light that has pierced the black sky. The light is tinted with the shade of azure. You decide to head directly into the heart where the light seems to touch the ground.
As you walk miles and miles, the ray seems get brighter and larger You start to some large object in the center of the ray of light. You decide not to give up yet and continue into the heart.
In the heart of this forest, is a tree larger and more beautiful than any man has ever known. The bark seems as if it was made out of freshly polished silver. The leaves are a shade of white so pure that no man can imagin it. The azure light from the sky makes the tree to shine with an aura.
As you walk closer to the tree, the aura given off by the tree, reveals what is on the ground. The ground is littered with the white leaves laced with silver dust.
Then when you finally able to touch the tree, you see orbs of light of every diffrent colors known and unknown to man appear all around the tree. Each orb dances its own unique style. The orbs tend to follow and dance around you.
Then suddenly large shards of what seems like crystals fall from the branches up high from the tree. They too follow you, but doing a figure 8 formation. As you climb on to the trunks of the tree, a large crevice opens and in there you will find.... me.
This forest is my home. This tree is my sanctuary. I escape to here. I hide here. I atone from my sins here. I gain enlightment here. I talk to God here.

Well there you have it! Crazy huh? God Bless and have a good day.

Unleashing a Hell Spawn (You Against The World pt. II)

They drew first blood!
Suddenly the world is different.
Now all you can hear....
The tearing of flesh and cracking of bones
Now all you feel....
Warm liquids splatter and ooze down your body.
Sharp pain thrives all over you.
Your limbs getting sore...Getting numb.
All you see...
You hands stained with red.
Limbs of your enemies flying through the air.
Your extended arms slash to your right, you see heads tumbling.
Your swing to your sweep left, you see fountains of blood.
Blood now raining down on you.
Blood drips off your hair.
Tears down your cheeks.
Into your mouth.
The taste of steel....It nourishes you.
You feel absolute bliss.
You want more....
You lust for blood.
What has happened, you ask?
You've lost your control.
You lost the feeling of love.
You lost your beliefs.
Love is no longer your sword.
Your beliefs are no longer your arrows.
You are no longer human.
You are a demon.
But you are the only one that survived.

You Against the World

Let the blood pump through the body.
Let the beads sweat pour out of the skin.
Let the heart beat to the rytheme of the drums.
The Stage is set.
Unsheath your love.
Draw your beliefs.
You stand alone.
You against the world.
Are you ready to fight?
Ready to die?
The beating of the drums cease...
The army that was in front of you is now around you.
So this is it.
Billions surround you.
Finally....
Your persecutors make their cry.
They want your blood.
Now they make their charge.
You alone can take on the challenge.
Just believe, then you are ready.
It's You Against the World, Baby, You Against the World

My Views, My Words of Wisdom, My Beliefs, and About Me.

Let us see what I can do.....
1. I am very quiet for most of those who know me. I cannot keep a conversation going on unless the person I am talking too keeps asking me questions or just keeps on talking. I believe it's best save your breath, especially if you are in an argument, gossiping, or just complaining. If you nothing well to say about something then don't say anything at all. Waste your breath either on important issues, if you're feeling lonely, reaching out for a friend, or expressing yourself. Don't time arguing about "the best football team ever" or some God forsaken thing like that.
2. Be quiet, observe, and learn. You will be amazed by how much you learn about something, or someone. I have learned quite a lot about my friends and stuff (also enemies too) just by listening to them talk. But don't be a quiet all the time. You must spread wisdom and teach others about what you learn. Teach them why is it so good to listen.
3. Look at the bigger picture other than just yourself! Just look around you there are people that are in much more pain and less fortunate than you now. If you can at least read this blog then you are more fortunate then about a few million people in the world. A fool complains on and on saying what he thinks about how a certain thing must be, normally it is to just benefit him; a wise person listens and learns about new ways of thinking, and soon learns to look at a bigger pictures and understanding for all things, what will benefit all those around him. Just like the Devil and God. The Devil reasons like a man, but God thinks of eternity.
4. Judge on others and you will be judged after death! For those who judgemental people, that was a warning. People need diversity in their lives. In my school I don't see much diversity in a single group. I am not just talking about race, but also personality. What's wrong with making friends that black, white, Mexican, Oriental, and Middle Eastern? I know for a fact that Racism still rules the world. All I can do is hope and pray one day all that will change. For personality every likes people who are like them. But rarely find anyone is diffrent? You might learn something new if you do. You will also become wiser if you are willing to learn thing that are diffrent. Why is it hard to accept people for who they are? I have found many friends and they have very diffrent personalities. If everyone was the same then everything would be boring.
4.Religion don't get me me started, I know it's pretty touchy subject. But why is it so hard to tolerate someone who believes a diffrent religion then you? Do you really need to make war and kill to prove a point and force people to convert to your religion? I am sure thats not what your god wants; commit murder in your gods name, using your gods name as an excuse to kill.
5. Friends can help you or drag you in the mud. The friends you make will effect you one day. So many friends have become sweet; dear memories to me. I have been betrayed by so many people that I thought were good friends. I have also lost a lot of friends because I simply do not talk. To them every now and then, that is what really hurts me a lot. Sometimes you don't know whoyour true friends are because of pure ignorance. It's often too late whenever you find out who your true friends are... True friends are those who don't want you to be hurt and they care about your health and your decisions. Don't be angry about them giving you pointers they are often helping you.
6. About me.... Lets see. I have a very strange nature, I am Christan, I try to talk to angels, I try to be like an angel or like Jesus, I act cute and untainted (innocent) around my friends/killer at heart.
7. I am not afraid of dying, in fact I think there is a part of me that is waiting and wanting for it. I am not 100% innocent, I have been tainted by the world, especially by violence and some lust.
8. My life has been pretty sad, but I have friends so I know I am blessed. Especially this one friend, this friend has been a blessing. This friend is truely blessed in so many diffrent way.
9. My love life has been dead since the day I was born. I believe in sex only after marrage, unless I get raped.... I have been rejected 3 times by three girls. So that kinda made me want to give up on love. I know for certain it is because of my looks. Unfortunatly that is all people care about these days. I am often to shy anyway to really talk to a girl or even ask her out. I once fell in love with a girl, I really actually fell in love. I asked her out and even gave her a beautiful pendant. I know you can't buy love with jewelry, but anyway next time I saw her, I asked her if she would go out with me.... She rejected me; she told me that she eas to young, which I guess was understandable, but we were only three months apart. She was the first girl to reject me. So it did hurt, since she was also the first girl I ever asked out. I couldn't sleep that night. Lol enough about my sob story .....Kinda a touchy subject. But you can ask me all the questions you want.
10. I should say that I am a fairly interesting person once you get to know me. You should give me a chance. I am very polite, I am very open, I am very trustworthy, and I am a very loyal to a friend or someone I am in a relationship with.

The 1st Conductor

Well here goes everyone. As some people may know I don't know how to spell or write dialogue, I would really appreciate if anyone can give me any pointers about dialogue, thank you...?

Here we go....

Requiem- any musical service, hymn, or dirge for the repose of the dead.
Chapter 1
Finally church is was over, I thought to myself. I couldn't wait to get back home. Kael said he had something for me in my bedroom. I jammed my foot on the peddle of my Hummer and sped right on through traffic. While stopping at a red light, I start to think what the gift might be. As soon as I thought about Kael, a loud horn blared behind me. It was a one of those chemical waste factory trucks. I looked at the driver at the rear view mirror and saw he was topless and had bulky tattoo. The depicted a large grave stone with the writing, " R.I.P. Ur Mom!" Another horn blasted from the God Forbidden truck! I looked at his license plate, it read, " JO B 1925 7" Then his eyes met with mine in the rear view mirror. I gave him the finger and sped 20 miles over the speed limit out of the traffic.
When I got back home, I saw my foster parents weren't home. So I rushed up to my bedroom and found a silver box with a white silk bow on top. I took off the bow and unsealed the bow and found a knife. The sheer quality of this knife was incredible. The blade was made out of 1095 high-carbon steel, it was full tang, tanto tipped, 4 inch redwood handle with two 2 inch long stainless crosses for the hand guard, a brass knuckle was made together starting at the end of the cross and end of the tang. I looked into the box again and there was an 8 inch scabbard made with red wood and black steel around the lining of it. Along with the scabbard there was another item, a pure white silk hanky with words scribbed, "Let the your Voice be the instrument of God." I didn't know what I would say to Kael tomorrow. Then suddenly I hear a car pull up my drive way and voice saying, "Hey! Girl you better be practicing that damn song of yours for Friday!" Then I knew it was my foster sister.

Fall of the Higher Spirit of Good

Leaping from the gates of Heaven,
The Seraphim of Spirits,
Eyes closed, hands connected in prayer,
Praying, dreaming of enlightening the world with the Love of God,
Demons and the Fallen Angels watched in envy,
With a bow at each one's left hand and an arrow cursed with Possession, Death and Human Sin at the right, they take their aim.,
They take their shot, only five make their mark,
Human sins blackens his heart and turn three of his six wings black, with sin comes pain,
Crying out in sorrow, he hears the devils and fallen angel screech at him with hate and shame,
Devils say in hate, "Die and burn in Hell like a Human, angelic shit."
Fallen Angels, cry out in shame, "Forgive us! Forgive us! Please show us......show us..... how to love again, so we may return to the Heavens!
Hearing the cries of madness, The Angel of Benevolence, sees the suffering seraph,
With her bow at her left hand and an arrow blessed with benevolence, obedience, and love, at her right, she takes aim.
The arrow strikes at the seraphim's heart,
The poor angel's cries cease,
He sleeps,
Two demons are casted out of angel, Lust and disobediece, but not with out a price.... Slowly... Slowly... he takes form of an infant and is at last a mortal....
Now diving head on into a world full of chaos, his journey begins....

Ignorant Faith

Wisdom Beyond the Age
Once lived a boy.
His wisdom beyond his age
He started to spread his wisdom at the age of eight
Continued even at 14
He was looked down on, but he knew it was his fate to be persecuted.
He preached on the roof tops of his schools.
He preached in the streets.
He preached at churches.
He preached at nations' capital
He preached at the world's capital
He spoke of Peace, Love, and Faith
He spoke about a world in turmoil .
He spoke of about love as if it was cure for the world's decay.
Through his word, all war stopped,
Through his word all hunger ceased,
At age 16 the world finally knew the true meaning of Peace and Love.
On the same day, he stood side by side with the Pope
The Vatican City was filled with faiths from all over the world.
There not even a single quarrel amongst the mass
No quarrels the "truth"
As the Pope and boy come to greet the people, a boy caught a glare and silhouettes of a man on the rooftop of a humble chapel.
The sound of thunder rung in the boy's ear
With a leap of faith, the boy took the bullet.
Blood splatted on the face of the Pope.
A hole gaped at the boy's chest,
His heart no where to be found, inside him.
The boy said these final words,"Azrael, give me Peace."
He then Fell into Eternal Rest.
On the 7th day of his death, he is cremated.
On the 8th World War III.
On the 9th the Pope became the new world leader.

The Name, Shang Tirips Doog, What Does It Mean?

Well let see... Where do I start.
OK
The language I am talking about is Mandarin Chinese. There are also many other diffrent Chinese languages. Most spoken is Mandarin. But many movies made in Hong Kong are spoken in Cantonese. That Chinese language is mainly spoken in the the southern part of China and Hong Kong. All that language problem probably dates back to the age of the Seven Warring States.
Shang means in Chinese has many diffrent meanings. So let me start off by saying, no one can really give you a name that sounds diffrent from your American name. i.e. If your name is Joe in english, then your name is Joe in Chinese, but just with a diffrent tone. What I mean by tone is the way your pronounce it. Let say you wanted to say "Hi" next thing you know you pronounce it differently and say "Screw you!" then suddenly you get a punch in the face. Chinese is a tone language, it's what makes Chinese the hardest language to learn to speak. If you don't learn Chinese as an infant you will never learn it in the proper way. SO thats why they has translations for traditional and simplified Chinese. Now the issue for a name. I am not sure how getting a Chinese name really works, but, I think, it usually has to do with becoming what you are named. Again for example, if you where named "Horse Shit" in Chinese then it might be that, You as beautiful and as graceful as a horse, but have a crappy attitude or smell.
Getting back on the subject, the "shang" I chose means "higher or high" I don't remember which one, I don't remember the other meanings for shang.
Shang = High
Now, Tirips and Doog are words spelled back words.
Tirips = Spirit
Doog = Good
So now put the name together......
Shang = High
Tirips = Spirit
Doog = Good
... it means High Spirit of Good! Now for those who want to know who is The "Shang Tirips Doog" you will have to wait.