The Game Of Life (unedited)

Once there was a gambler, he always seemed to leave with bundles of winnings. Every time he was asked what his secrets was, he always said, "I don't care to win."
Instead he was looking for something to change. Seeing the same cards day in and day out, he grew desperate for his search. One day there was a woman in red a short dress, asking him what was he looking for?
He said the meaning of life. She was amused by his answer. "They meaning of life is in the suites. Diamonds are the money that makes life worth living, clubs are the weapons to kill anyone who dares take your riches, spades are where you can hide your riches in a safe place, and the heart, well, not really sure, but I believe for the love of wealth and life."
"An interesting observation said the gambler, but it all sounds very 'empty'."
before the 1st three card was revealed, the woman in red whispered to him to go "all-in". The gambler knew that it would be an unwise move, but he did it anyway. The other players knew he was making a mistake, so they went all in aswell.
But when he received his two card it was the the ace of spades and hearts. Then finally the rest of the card were revealed to be ace of clubs and diamonds, a king, a queen, and jack. he seemed to have won the pot. then the woman in red said, "let's be friends and spend the money in morally questionable ways." She drew a large smile from ear to ear."Cash the chips, and meet me at the hotel's bar and grill?" she whispered. So the gambler went to the cage and there was a young man who was dressed in a white cocktail suite, counting the chips and money. the young man as he placed the chips in the counter, the gambler had a troubled face. the young man in white asked what was wrong. "A woman in red told me what the meaning of life through the cards, but it all felt wrong. Although I did as she told to do, I won all this! How can she be wrong?" then the young man asked him was she had told him. "The meaning of life is in the suites. Diamonds are the money that makes life worth living, clubs are the weapons to kill anyone who dares take your riches, spades are where you can hide your riches in a safe place, and the heart is for the love of wealth and life." said the gambler.the young man shook his head in disagreement. "Kind sir, that is the life of vice and greed. Why don't you put that money you had won to this charity where it will benefit in the victims addicted to gambling and families displaced by the addiction?"the gambler feeling revolted by such a suggestion, "Why would I want to give away all this money I rightfully earned to give away to people who have no self control? They made their decision."
Peering into the donation box, the gambler saw not a single cent was given, and realized the the donation event began two years ago. As he peered into the empty box, he saw words saying, "What is the point? Any money given to gamblers will come back to this place."
"Others must agree with me! You see that box has been empty for two years!"
The young man in white nodded his head, " Yes sir, I understand. I see where you are coming from, but doesn't everyone deserve a second chance and redemption?""Just count the cash and give it to me so I can leave!" Barked the gambler.
But emptiness the gambler felt was ebbing to his soul. He looked at the young man, and seeing that the young mans face was not cheerful anymore, but stoic. fearing that what he has said had upset the young man, and causing the young man to miscount, he asked, "you seemed to know the meaning of life, what is to you?"
The young man looked into the mans eyes and answered, "The meaning of life can be translated by the suites. Diamonds and clubs are empty treasures, because wealth and the faith of having good fortune when it is not deserved is what humans cling too. They will all fade away. what matters is the heart and spade, heart is for compassion and understanding for they can change someone's life. The heart also represents love and faith in others. because it takes a heart to change the world. The spades symbolizes that Ultimately everything must come to an end. How you leave the world behind is ultimately up to you. Are you man who lives a life of distrust with no one to share your heart with? Or are you man who has given the world love?" suddenly a feeling of fulfillment reached the gamblers soul.
"Put all my earnings in that box," said the gambler.
And as soon as he said that he headed to the casino entrance. He then saw the woman in red with a waving him over, but he ignored her and proceeded to walk out of the casino. Realizing that life is more than just a game. The end.

I Just Wanna Curl Up and Disappear.

Sometimes I just wish I could ask my friends the question, "Who am I to you?" I would want the most honest answer of course. I was told last month or so, that when I was gone for the Army, life for my family was easier. They didn't have to deal with my "Messes". And my family agreed to what was said. So sometimes, I wonder maybe I should just move out. I guess it would be easier for them at least. Where would I go though? Maybe it means that I need to improve myself. I have a lot of problems, no doubt about that. But usually people don't know about it, unless they live with me. Sometimes, I think it would be better if I just speaking unless spoken to. There is few people in particular I have a few questions for, but I think I already know the answers. Another topic comes to mind. All the people that I held close, what the hell happened? I never hear from them. It's so sad that as time moves on, the people that we once held close now are so far away. There is a lot of things I would like to rant about, but unfortunately there is probably somebody watching.

How Many Times Must...?

How many times must I continue to be a "ditz" before "competent"?
How many times must I fail before I succeed?
How many times must I be wrong before I am right?
How many times must I be told, "You fucked up your life; get it fixed," before I am told, "I am proud of you."
How many times must I endure your pain before you understand mine?
How many times must I be selfless before I can think for myself?
How many times must I feel anguish before I feel pleasure?
How many times must I be inadequate before I am placed above the others?
How many times must slanders be said about me before praises be said?
How many times must I fall before rising?

The Soldier's Creed

I am an American Soldier.

I am a Warrior and a member of a team.

I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

I always maintain my arms, my equipment, and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am the guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.


___________________________________

Well this is it; my life long dream of being a soldier and warrior.
I pray for great days a head.
I want to thank all of you who are in my life.
You made me to who I am today.
It was fun.
God Bless all of You!
Thanks again.

Signing Off....

Chih-Chuan Chang