Sanctuary in Words

In this place I have my secrets.
In this place I have everything and nothing.
In this place I have peace and war.
In this place I can write out my emotions, and no one will know their meanings.
In this place I can express my love for someone.
In this place I can dance, I can sing, I can worship.
In this place I am free to be whatever or whoever I want to be.
In this place I am a monster, a stranger, a warrior, an angel.
In this place I am happy and sad.
In this place I dream.
In this place I rise and fall.

This place is my sanctuary, I am finally free. I am finally me.

Darkness Falls

The darkness of 3 AM, the fan whiling above my head, the snoring of my family; they all make me feel all too human. I hit the play button on my Pandora Radio just to releave my nerves... I am greeted by Johann Pachelbel. Ah I remember the days when I had to dance to this song. It was ballet.... 3 monthes, of fun, but harassment from my family. Before I know it, the song fades away. A familar, wonderful piano melody starts, and I realize it as Glass Skin. The vocalist's voice sounds so gentle. Never has his voice been this gentle, but the lyrics as sorrowful as ever though. As the song nears it's end, I decide to choose my next song to play.... Ain't Afraid to Die, this is a nice choice. The song opens with a piano solo, and a soft quiet voice. It's about 3 in the morning. I place the song on constant repeat.... I hear the song for every bit of the beat and instruments. I decide maybe turning the song for constant repeat was not the best of the ideas... I decided to watch the music video....



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsRFeeiJvUo

English Translation:
The way that I used to walk with you is gone
But still, I always walked with you, I wonder if I'll ever be able to meet
you
The snow falls gently on a hill
Even though I can't reach you, I understand
The flower in your room that you loved is now...
The day of last years final snow
The promises that were hard to exchange
When I remember them, they melt, and spill from my hands
The snow falls gently on a hill
Even though I can't reach you, I understand
The flower in your room that you loved is now...
All alone by the window, just staring at the snow
While remembering you, seeing you in the glass
I give you a final kiss
Come on, smile, don't cry anymore
From here on, I'll always be watching you
The snow falls gently on a hill
Even though I can't reach you, I understand
The flower in your room that you loved is now...
A light that quietly begins to color the inside of the town white
You saw the season's final colors
The sound of the tears that fell is cruel isn't it
You saw the season's final colors
The four seasons, and your colors, will soon vanish
The snow melts, and flowers bloom on the street corner
The "colors" that you saw, softly begin to melt
The day of this years final colors
A single flower on the street corner
When I look up into the sky, the final snow melts from my hand.


My dog comes and pokes her nose to my thigh. I get up from the computer, leash my dog. As I open the door, the sun's ray blind me and sears my flesh. It feels like my flesh and eyes was aflame. It was 7 AM...

Wings of Glass, Pt. 1 Prelude.

An angel shrouded in a robe, and his face full of light. Thundering voice calling out her name, "Muriel." He held out his hand.
She emraced him as if she had known him for many years. His wings, that flowed with beautiful grace, enclosed on them, his body warm with love and soft with gentleness. With a sigh of love, she turned his body turned cold and unyielding as glass. His armed locked against her body. She could not budge. The angel's body had become glass. She looked up to see the face she once trusted. Her eyes dilated. She screamed in fear, as the face was just a black abyss. Her scream shattered the sky and earth. The glass angel and her fell into the darkness.

"Love is lost, Love is gone, Love is dead, Love burns in Hell," chanted the glass angel.

She woke screaming from her night of rest; sweaty and bewildered. She closed her eyes and reprised her dream.

Love is lost, Love is gone, Love is dead, Love burns in Hell
Those words echo in her mind.

Truth that Hurts the Soul

So recently, I had been thinking a lot usually about the past, and how so much has changed in as little as in the past 2 years. It's kind of sad to lose touch with so many you thought would be with you forever, as friends, if not more. It’s funny how peoples thought of you change through just a simple gestures, response to a chain message, attitude of the response, and eye contact. Don't they consider that the person they are talking to or person you are trying to talk to is having a bad day? Seems to me like many friendships are made and destroyed by these simple gestures. In a way it makes me wish, I could take back a response I made to a friend. I think I was bitter, so my emotions got to me. So maybe I offended her. Then again she probably didn't even get the message I was trying to get through at the time. In a way I wish I could re-establish contact with my friend again. Ironic thing is, I had another friend delete her number from my phone. I just didn't want to be the one to sever the form of communication; we used the most to keep in touch. However I do remember, that I asked her to keep and contact. Maybe she never saved my number in the 1st place. Oh how Irony can be a bitch. Whenever we were still in school together, we used to walk together to our 5th our class. On her last day of school, I asked to stay in contact with me, since she was graduating that year. She responded with, "Oh, but I am such so anti-social." And she walked to her next class.... I didn't understand why she would say that, because she had so many friends, and always greeted everyone with a cheery face. It was recent to find out what she really meant.
Maybe I was just scaring her, I was probably a freak. Maybe I was too clingy, even though we never had that close of a relationship. To me being with her was all that mattered. Funny how I thought telling her the truth would make everything okay. Indeed the truth does set you free, but they forgot to mention that it can hurt you too.