Dreams About The Past Life?

January 4th 2008 was a very wierd day. I felt I've been stuck in the mud and I can't get out. Well anyway about the dream, I have told Analynn, but I had to shorten it.
Well here the story...
I was about my age now and I was best friends with this girl. Then suddenly we became lovers. It seemed we had such a great time. The reason i said "seemed" is because, now this is one of the things that bothered me, I could never see her face, I could never see us hug, kiss, and I think at one point we made love. Anything we did always blurred and swirl until I couldn't see what happened and it changed to like the next "scene" of our life. I guess I was not supposed to see her face at all. Anyway to continue the story...
I was grown up and I had to go to war, before the swirling effect fully distorted my sight, I saw us kissing good bye. Then was in a middle of a battle. It seemed all the people on my side had paintball guns. I had one too. But all enemy soldiers had real guns. Well we all decided to charge them and one by one I saw my comrades get gun down, and blood splattered everywhere. Then finally I was shot down. Everything I saw, was red. Then I couldn't stop thinking about my lover. Well fortunatly for me I saw a shadow of what looked like a helicopter. And I saw the shadow, gun down all the enemy forces. So Yay I thought, then I started thinking about the lover again. When I almost saw her face the swirly effect happened again. The next scene I was at my house. Calling for my lover I was home, but there was no answer. I looked at the mail and it was soooo full. there was a bill I opened it, before I looked at the mail I cried for my lover again, still no answer... So I looked at the bill, it was a funeral bill for someone I couldn't read the name, but I think it was for me. I called my lover's mother and she started crying when she heard my voice. She told me the bill was for my lover. She never said her's or my lover's name she jus aid "My Baby." I heard her bawl out," They found... My Baby... dead with a knife on her heart and in her left hang a picture of you....."
I felt tears sting my eyes. The mother said she commited suicide. I started yelling over the phone it wasn't possible. The mother dropped the phone and I guess she ran away. Well the father told me my lover's grave site. The swirly effect took place again before I could hear the name of my lover. Last thing I heard the father say was "I can't believe..." So I went to her grave and gave her white roses, white lotuses, and one red roses. When I layed them down on the grave all the flowers turned black and very very thorny, but the red rose remained untouched. I quickly grabbed onto the red rose, while all the flowers were wrapping black vines around my hand. The swirly effect came on again and next thing I knew I was at my dinner table, but there was no food. I looked around the table and I felt very lonely, no one else was at the table. I saw a rolled up newspaper and unrolled it and what I saw was my lover.... She made front cover of the news. I couldn't read anything I just knew was going mad I started ripping apart the newspaper. When I riped the front cover with the picture of my lover, a knife fell out.
The knife was very bloody. I picked up the knife and before I could plunge it to my heart... I woke up. This morning I was very very sad. Next thing I knew the alarm clock rang. So when I went to school today I tried to mask everything. I think I hid my feelings well. I sorta wished I didn't.
Thank you everyone for being born and being my friend, you made my day a little brighter.

My Unrequited Love

My feelings for you are strong.
Yet you do not know that I harbor them.
Your smiles are like the Sun's rays; warm and lifting.
Your eyes are like diamonds ever sparkling.
Evey time I see you, a sharp pain rips through my heart.
For I know you are far beyond my reach.
You have fallen for another.
But I know this is what must be.
It has felt like many lifetimes since I have set my eyes on you and where you have reclined.
Many times I have dreamt about you.
We embraced.
But I awake with tears running down my cheek.
To find it was only a dream.
I have tried letting you go not once, but twice.
But everytime I see your miniature portraits.
I have always have this one thought rushing through my mind.
"What If?"
I wish once more to touch your hands.
I wish for a chance to touch your lips.
I wish for a chance that your lips reach my cheek.
I pray for the chance for our lips to touch.
God Bless You, My Love.
My Unrequited Love.
But I will never say who... :D