Finding Patience and Grace....

Rob Dougan's Nothing at All lyrics

i want to be still
i want to walk into your grave
where i can shelter in peace
until all our cares have blown away

let the whole world fall away
and fall into my arms
stay with me
i don't know how long we've got left
and so I'm asking you
to forgive me

i learn as i go
to float far away
into silence
and just watch your face
and find some kind of grace
in that quiet bliss

can i stay and say nothing at all, at all

where will we go when we get old
when the bustle and the noise
get too frightening
when each and every angry word
is banished to the past
that when i think

we'll learn as we go
to float far away
into silence
and I'll watch your face
and read of patience and grace
in each line there

work each day
all for nothing at all, at all
and the few words i say
they mean nothing at all at all

will you walk into the grave with me
will you leave this empty world
soft and wistful
to sink into the dark, dark earth
and never reappear would be blissful

to float far away
into eternal space
and God's silence
where I'll watch your face
and find patience and grace
in each line there

drift away into nothing at all at all
find the grace to be nothing at all at all
fade away and end up nothing at all
at all at all at all

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Nothing at All is probably my most favorite song to date. After reading a little about marriage from several friends, I've come to realize, I don't understand much about the feeling of love. Is it lust, that I've felt all this time? Is this the warm feeling in my chest? I've am not new to lust, but it's a horrible feeling. Damn human reproductive systems. My uncle told me to deny it, is stupid. Well here I am being stupid. I rebuke my humanity. Only if I could.

On love, I don't know. A year or two ago, I thought I knew what it was, now that I think about it. I didn't. I believe it to be lust. I fell hard for this one young lady, but that dream ended abruptly. Such is life though.

Of course if you read on my previous recent blogs, I thought I fell hard for another young lady. Of course such is life, all things must come to an end. It was only after this, I realize, I don't know what love really is. Let me rephrase intimate love from another individual other than from friends and family.

My friend once told me, she wants to find someone like her, inexperienced and ignorant of love. She wants it to be a journey for both of them. She's right.

Maybe my journey will start later on in life, or who knows maybe not in this life time?