Is It Fair?

As I climb these stairs, I start to wonder.
Why am I thinking of you?
I find myself thinking about life's meaning, since you are gone now.
It's been 30 years, 8 months, and 3 days, since we had our first kiss.
Back when you were still alive these little details didn't matter to me.
Look at me now; counting every second I live without you.
It's been 7 years, 8 months, and 1 day.
I find myself on the edge.
I close my eyes and face where the sun once was.
There are storm clouds blotting out the sun...
I suddenly cannot even remember the color of your eyes or the warmth of your touch.
Despair is in the sky.
I now ask myself....
Is there a God?
If there is, how can he let this happen?
Is there a Hell?
Then why do I not care?
Just one last step...
Thunder, lightening, wind tear through this city now...
I've turn my face against the wind.
Take me away, I want to go.
I've learned to lose.