Not Giving In

Everyone says they see the misery in my eyes, they say they can hear the pain in my voice. They say I should not be living this way. Then I ask, what is the answer, but they don't know, or they don't think they should say. Then what is the point in telling me? I don't believe I am in pain or misery, or am I seriously so deep in it, I just don't notice it anymore? I am sure it's natural to feel less than a person from all those around you. I am sure everyone is struggling just the same. Perhaps my struggles aren't much compared to those around me. Or is it my love for life, that masks the severity of the darkness that is inside me? How do you talk to anyone about this? I think I am alone in my own world.

Devilish Words From An Angelic Voice

Only you make me cry, my beautiful world. Only you make me happy. No angel can hold a star to your beauty. A touch from you can make the body writhe in pleasure. A scent from you can make the flowers sigh. A song from you can make the sparrows envy. A look from you can make the whole world smile. A smile from you can make the devil cry.

The Love Gone

"Come with me!" she said, "I will be your constant companion." "When I was powerless, you were there to protect me! Now I want to be there for you. I want to be the one to wipe your tears away. I want to be the one to protect you now," she said with a hand reaching for him. He was hesitant, but he felt his heart grow and glow. "Am I falling for this woman?" He questioned himself, "How a can something as mighty as her love a human like me?" He took his old friend's warm hand, and he felt a burst of energy in his soul. She took flight with her mighty four wings and soared over a field of flowers of many glorious colors. "So she will always be with me? She will never fail me? I think I am in love!" his most inner being exclaimed. Every fiber of his being felt so alive. She then slowly halted her flight over the field. Suddenly she let go of his hand, and a sudden fear rushed to his heart. He came barreling down, and crashed into a bed of roses. Pain shot through his body, as he felt the thorns scratch and pierce his skin. "Why did she do that?" he wondered. He then saw her staring at him with cold eyes. A chill went down his spine. He reached out for her with his lacerated hand, but she just turned away, and she flew away. "Please don't leave me!" he pleaded. He attempted to pull himself free from the roses, but the roses and the thorns just seem to bind him and cut his flesh deeper. "So this is where it ends... Better to have love than never at all." he mumbled to himself, "it was all but a fleeting dream." Feeling despair fill his heart, he expelled a deep breath of air, and closed his eyes. Letting go his will to live on, he laid his extended hand down on the thorny flowers. Slowly the rose bush started to consume him. He felt the searing pain of the thorns tearing his flesh, but he let out no cry, because the pain in his heart was greater than the physical pain the roses could ever impose on him. After a few agonizing minutes, all pain stopped. Before the last sight of light turned to darkness, he let out a quiet whimper, and then he was gone. "Please! Don't go!" he cried out. He opened his eyes and he was in his tent. His body was drenched in sweat. "Another dream about her huh? I am so sorry my dear friend... for what I did to you." He cried as he embraced the sword to his chest tightly.

Is This How We Say Goodnight?

She tells me don't talk to her.

After what I have done, she doesn't even say, "thank you."

Why do I even try?

I never do anything right.

Walking down the hall toward our room, my heart grows heavier with every step.

Oh my love is heavy. 

If I was to jump into the ocean, 

I would surely sink to the bottom. 

My heart is heavy.

She goes to sleep, I lament.

Is this how we say good night?

Sorry Should Be Enough Right?

She said, "Fuck you." And I bent to her will. It made me feel like a miserable dog with a tail in-between it's legs. It hurts so much to be told that by someone you love and sacrifice so much. I told her she hurt me. She tells me she's sorry. It still hurts so much. Why don't I feel better? Tears that stream down feel like flames scorching my heart and soul. Anyone there to listen?

You Always Win

No matter what I think or feel, you always have your way. I am forever your slave. I need a vacation, I need to get away. I have rotted to my bones, my body is breaking down. How much longer until it all ends?

Again Come the Flood

Again and again, the question is asked, "Don't my feelings matter?" Loved ones really have a way to hurt you. Better to have loved than to need have at all though.